Dear Xanga, I miss you. A lot. Terribly. With all my heart.

Recently, I made a Facebook account. I was never really a big fan of Facebook before hand. I figured it just be like Myspace. People would get all excited about it for a year or so, then drop it like it’s hot for the next cool new exciting social networking website. But as time passed, more and more of my friends were signing up for this website. Even my friends who were never fans or wouldn’t dream of joining Myspace type sites jumped on the bandwagon. More and more stuff was being done and discussed on Facebook, and I was feeling a little out of the loop. Besides, a bunch of my friends were going off to college, and I didn’t want to loose track of them (and I wanted to rekindle my relationship with some friends I had lost contact with along the way)…

So, I joined.

Actually, to be more precise, my friends made a profile for me late in the night on my friend Katie’s backyard deck, filling it with some pictures she had of me on the her laptop, and sending some mutual friends my way so I wouldn’t be alone on the site. When it started that innocent night, I figured I’d never become obsessed with it. I still wasn’t really a big fan of Facebook. It was just sort of there for me, and all I really wanted it for was to communicate with friends. I never planned on abandoning Xanga. But as the days wore on, a strange sort of frenzy began to happen to me. I was spending more and more time on Facebook. I was finding more and more friends, posting more and more pictures, updating my status every thirty minutes, playing games, the works. If it was on Facebook, I knew about it.

And for awhile, that made me happy. A bunch of my friends I hadn’t had a real heart to heart with in years, I was now fully connected too. I caught up with them, and got to see how their lives have been through the pictures. I also found some friends I had not seen in a LONG, LONG, LONG. time (since grade school), and it was beyond awesome to see them again and find out what had been going on in their lives. So, Facebook wasn’t all bad. But sadly, I was getting so caught up in the whirl of it all, I started being less passionate about my Xanga. It wasn’t that I gave up, or stopped caring, it was just that I was half assing it at best. My posts came less frequently, and weren’t as thoughtfully put together as they usually were. And as I was writing them, I was usually on my Facebook anyway, talking to people while writing. And on top of that, they few people I had become friends with on Xanga and commented on what I wrote (especially Johnny) stopped visiting me. And though for years it never really mattered to me whether someone read what I wrote or not, somewhere along the lines it became apparent to me how much I actually loved comments and feedback. I realized that I started posting Blog posts, not just because I liked to do it, but also to see how people would respond to them. And I loved the responses! It made me so happy to open my mail and see that someone had commented on my post, and to find people with similar interests, and such. So, with my lack of comment-age, I began to think, what’s the point? What’s the point in blogging if no one see’s it, reads it, or cares? So, back to Facebook I retreated.

But then, as even more time passed, and I was no longer basking in the glory of being a new Facebook user, things started to get really… Blah on Facebook. I wasn’t getting friends requests frequently anymore, people visited and commented on my wall and posts less often, people stopped looking at all my pictures, and with that, a lot of comments on them stopped, and the games were getting kind of mundane. I just didn’t feel really fulfilled. It was cool to see what my friends were doing and knowing what everyone was up to and stuff, but there were times where I’d just sit at my computer, starring at my live feed, waiting for something to happen. Usually, nothing ever really did.

So, I was feeling unfulfilled, and often times wanted to write stuff. Not just one little line on how I was feeling, or what I was going to do for they day, but really WRITE (or blog, if you will P). I know that Xanga can link to Facebook, but I never wanted to do that because all the people I’m friends with on Facebook. I talk about different things with different friends, where as on Xanga, I am free to totally free to go super geek and be me, and I’m not sure I wanted to expose that to everyone I was friends with on Facebook. But still, I couldn’t shake the urge to blog. A serious, intense one, like I used to do. But I couldn’t. I could make a note of it on Facebook, but that didn’t cut it for me, either. :/ Also, other than missing actually writing stuff, I began to miss my Xanga friends. I’ve only really made a few, but the few I’ve made I must say I’ve become rather close with. Close to the point of if I met them out on the street somewhere, I don’t think it would be awkward at all. We’d just carry on like we did on Xanga. I appreciate them for that, and miss all the awesome conversations we had. I did make some friend on Facebook, but not that many, and one of them actually annoys the hell out of me. Nothing like my Xanga buds. :P Also, my parents and family and stuff are on Facebook, so I feel like I have to censor myself even further.

All in all, I wasn’t really happy with Facebook anymore. At all, really. But for some unknown reason, I still obsessively was on it as much as I could, posting stuff and looking at things, even if no one cared or it bored the hell out of me. And then finally, last night, I decided that I would write this blog post out. Even if no one reads it or cares.

I miss Xanga. I miss blogging, I miss feeling free to freak out over geeky things or bitch about something without friends or people I know thinking I’m being weird or stupid. I miss being anonymous, and getting outside opinions from people on things and situations. I miss just sitting down and spilling my soul, or posting cool things I find. I miss talking to and hearing from my Xanga friends. I miss visiting and being a part of a website that actually has true substance, and isn’t just pictures, games, and one line updates.

So, I came back. I’ve been a part of Xanga off and on since 2006, and it’s going to take more than a little website to stop me from coming back! I just always feel really bad for Livejournal and Xanga. More than anyone else, it seems like these sites are left in the dust as Facebook and the like gains fame. But I love Xanga, and I’m not leaving. I promise. My hearts here, and I’ve shared much more here then I ever have, or will, on Facebook. I love you guys! ^.^

I KNOW I’M A NERD, OK?!?!?! Now that that’s out of the way, LET’S GET TO BLOGGING! :D